‘The dynamic is going to change’: Single mom benevolently includes deadbeat dad's mom in her daughter's life, forced to draw the line at Christmas

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Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Nov 2, 2025 6:00 PM EST

When it comes to being a parent, you have to hold steady to your boundaries. That means with your kids when teaching them a valuable life lesson, but also with outsiders like grandparents or other entitled parents. It's already not easy to do this even with a partner by your side. But as a single parent, it's even harder!

 

This mom and her partner broke up even before their baby was born. He was a deadbeat and she was not about to raise a kid with him. He's still a deadbeat even years later, but she's always tried to include his mom in the family, she is the grandmother after all. Though she's your typical overbearing mother-in-law, she's been innocent enough and a harmless addition to her daughter's life. Until recently when this single mom started dating again. She's been seeing a new man who treats her well and they might even move in together. She told her MIL that she was thinking about starting new holiday traditions with him and her daughter, which the MIL was fine with. However, she needs to also keep the old ones, which means having them spend the entirety of the holidays with her. Now, how does that even work?

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  • "AITAH for telling my exes mother that my daughter and I will not be attending her Christmas together"

    Cheezburger Image 10570237696
    via Unsplash+ (and Kateryna Hliznitsova)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • A little backstory: I (29F) have a 7 year old daughter. Her father (30m) Sheldon (fake name) and I have not been together since before she was born.
    via DealerInteresting168
  • I broke it off with him shortly after I found out I was pregnant. He is a guy that basically only cares about playing video games, whether the WiFi is working, and if he can beat his meat stick to pictures of anime women.
    via DealerInteresting168
  • I realized earlyish on that, um, no thank you. We broke up (that was a shiiiiiiiiit show and half) I had my daughter, and after a while I let his mom and stepdad into our lives for my daughter.
    via DealerInteresting168
  • Flash forward a bit and we all pretty much get along now. It just been my daughter and I for basically her whole life.
    via DealerInteresting168
  • I've never been in a serious relationship in her lifetime or anything. Every holiday we have spent with Sheldon's mom and stepdad and it's been pretty great.
    via DealerInteresting168
  • His mom is quite a bit over bearing. To this day she still calls me everyday multiple times a day to talk to me about my daughter and to talk about her day.
    via DealerInteresting168
  • Even though I have told her we don't need to talk every single day, she still calls and gets upset if I don't answer.
    via DealerInteresting168
  • Always with the excuse I'm just checking on my beauties. Move on to present day and I have entered into a pretty serious relationship with a guy for the first time.
    via DealerInteresting168
  • VENTUR
    via Unsplash+ (and Phillip Goldsberry)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This single mom is holding her ground and staying strong with her boundaries, but as many MIL's are good at, she's been made to feel guilty about it. Stay strong, mama!! 

  • So serious that him and I have been talking about moving in together soon. I have been hinting to Patricia (fake name of Sheldon's mom) that this year holidays are going to be different.
    via DealerInteresting168
  • That the dynamic is going to change. She told me she completely understood. Turns out she didn't.
    via DealerInteresting168
  • She has been asking me what we should do at Christmas time. I have told her that whenever she is going to do her Christmas, my daughter is more than welcome to come and spend that day with them.
    via DealerInteresting168
  • I will pick her up and we will do our own thing after that. I told her I would like to start building new traditions and things with my new partner.
    via DealerInteresting168
  • She continues to insist that there are no enemies in that house and my boyfriend can come for Christmas.
    via DealerInteresting168
  • I told her I appreciate that, but it is still super weird and awkward since Sheldon still lives there as well.
    via DealerInteresting168
  • My boyfriend does not like Sheldon at all. Mainly because he's a POS father and doesn't even pay child support like he's supposed to.
    via DealerInteresting168
  • He really has nothing to do with my daughter unless it's for show in public. Patricia is very upset, though that we will not be there together for Christmas.
    via DealerInteresting168

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